Multitudes on Monday

Last week I began my new book, One Thousand Gifts.

And last week I took the dare to live fully right where I am.

I bought a new journal to record the gifts...and recorded 100 on day 1.

I am just a beginner, but before I ever found this book or A Holy Experience, I gave my Savior the gift of gratitude for Christmas.  And gratitude is what I worked on through January and February, progress was minimal but concerted none the less.  But on March 1st when I found the book, and read the first chapter online, and found the blog, gratitude every day seemed no more like drudgery, but salvation.  And not only this, but attainable, within my reach, like a star falling right into my cupped hands.

A goal for Gratitude has become a year of Eucharisteo.

Now I am on gift #217 and I'm still a beginner, yet aren't we all?  Beginners at truly coming to know Christ? and His goodness? and mercy?

But I am starting to see, clearly, and finding joy in the process, in the journey, in the moments.

It seems that now my test is to endure the hard eucharisteo, and the things like rain and snowy trials that don't look like grace.  But they are.  Because all is grace, even this.  And all is well, because everywhere there is a well to drink the living waters, we just must search and seek to find.

Some days He showers down sunshine unending and we feel and taste of His love so abundantly.

Other days He showers down sleet and hail and we feel and taste of bitterness if we choose, or grace if we have eyes to see that storms grow the trees and plants just as much as the sunshine.  

And we are the trees....needing the sunshine...and the storms.

#1. Awakening to home all quiet and peaceful.

#2. Knowing I have a Savior.

#4. A new notebook with its promise of fresh pages.

#44. First somersaults

#48. Small tick of clock inviting me to slow and savor.

#60. Light sparkle in the cracks of blinds

#67. Kisses "left on."

#85. New spices wrapped in glass bottles.

#88. Laughing--really and truly with my sweeetie.

#96. The love-knowing that comes from 5 years of marriage.

#99. Aching hand from a day of gift-chronicling

#129. The joy of the unknown future and the adventure it will be.

#136. Red velvety cupcakes with cream cheese icing

#141. Little Bear telling me my fresh blow-dried hair was so beautiful.

#142. Burnt orange weeds all aflame with the fire of God.

#143. Warm home-baked bread with creamy honey or chunky peanut butter and raspberry jam

#145. Practicing Eucharisteo when it's hard.

#149. Mid-afternoon napping in my sweetheart's arms.

#151. Still hoping...

#162. Feeling the peace of being so close to nature and God...

Multitudes on Monday

Last week I began my new book, One Thousand Gifts.

And last week I took the dare to live fully right where I am.

I bought a new journal to record the gifts...and recorded 100 on day 1.

I am just a beginner, but before I ever found this book or A Holy Experience, I gave my Savior the gift of gratitude for Christmas.  And gratitude is what I worked on through January and February, progress was minimal but concerted none the less.  But on March 1st when I found the book, and read the first chapter online, and found the blog, gratitude every day seemed no more like drudgery, but salvation.  And not only this, but attainable, within my reach, like a star falling right into my cupped hands.

A goal for Gratitude has become a year of Eucharisteo.

Now I am on gift #217 and I'm still a beginner, yet aren't we all?  Beginners at truly coming to know Christ? and His goodness? and mercy?

But I am starting to see, clearly, and finding joy in the process, in the journey, in the moments.

It seems that now my test is to endure the hard eucharisteo, and the things like rain and snowy trials that don't look like grace.  But they are.  Because all is grace, even this.  And all is well, because everywhere there is a well to drink the living waters, we just must search and seek to find.

Some days He showers down sunshine unending and we feel and taste of His love so abundantly.

Other days He showers down sleet and hail and we feel and taste of bitterness if we choose, or grace if we have eyes to see that storms grow the trees and plants just as much as the sunshine.  

And we are the trees....needing the sunshine...and the storms.

#1. Awakening to home all quiet and peaceful.

#2. Knowing I have a Savior.

#4. A new notebook with its promise of fresh pages.

#44. First somersaults

#48. Small tick of clock inviting me to slow and savor.

#60. Light sparkle in the cracks of blinds

#67. Kisses "left on."

#85. New spices wrapped in glass bottles.

#88. Laughing--really and truly with my sweeetie.

#96. The love-knowing that comes from 5 years of marriage.

#99. Aching hand from a day of gift-chronicling

#129. The joy of the unknown future and the adventure it will be.

#136. Red velvety cupcakes with cream cheese icing

#141. Little Bear telling me my fresh blow-dried hair was so beautiful.

#142. Burnt orange weeds all aflame with the fire of God.

#143. Warm home-baked bread with creamy honey or chunky peanut butter and raspberry jam

#145. Practicing Eucharisteo when it's hard.

#149. Mid-afternoon napping in my sweetheart's arms.

#151. Still hoping...

#162. Feeling the peace of being so close to nature and God...

Will I forget Him?

From my search in the Book of Mormon today, I found hard doctrines and piercing questions stung my heart.

"And thus we can behold how false, and also the unsteadiness of the hearts of the children of men; yea, we can see that the Lord in his great infinite goodness doth bless and proper those who put their trust in him.

"Yea, and we may see at the very time when he doth prosper his people, yea, in the increase of their fields, their flocks and their herds, and in gold, and in silver, and in all manner of precious things of every kind and art; sparing their lives, and delivering them out of the hands of their enemies; softening the hearts of their enemies that they should not declare wars against them; yea, and in fine, doing all things for the welfare and happiness of his people; yea, then is the time that they do harden their hearts, and do forget the Lord their God, and do trample under their feet the Holy One--yea, and this because of their ease, and their exceedingly great prosperity." (Helaman 12:1-2)

These thoughts cause me to examine my heart:  

Will I forget Him?

"Lord, is it I?" (Matthew 26:22) 

And my Savior is asking, "Will ye also go away?" (John 6:67)

And I want to answer with my whole heart and soul, "No, Lord, I will never leave Thee, I will never forget Thee or betray Thee."

But my question is, how?

How do I do this when the natural, carnal man is "quick to be lifted up in pride...quick to boast...slow...to remember the Lord their God, and give ear unto his counsels, yea, how slow to walk in wisdom's paths!" (Helaman 12:5)

And in His goodness, the Lord answers:  "And thus we see that except the Lord doth chasten his people with many afflictions, yea, except he doth visit them with death and with terror, and with famine and with all manner of pestilence, they will not remember him." (Helaman 12:3)

Is this one of the reasons there is death and darkness and affliction and heartbreak and trial and storm everywhere we turn in this fallen world?  To bring us back to Him?  To help us remember Him in the depths of humility?  Perhaps.

Ann says, "All is grace." And it is.  The Lord is over all and cradles each our lives in the palm of His hand, clothing us as the lilies of the field, and when it is eternally hard to see how our trials will bring us happiness, we must simply have faith in the Almighty that one day, our furnaces of affliction will have fired our souls into pure gold...when all the dross and impurities have melted away. (See 1 Peter 1:7)

And to be fit for the Kingdom, we must be fit...exercised through much trial.  Else, how will we feel worthy to be in the Savior's presence, eternally living in His kingdom, if we have never experienced the bitter?  He, who was perfect, descended below all things, and we who are ever so imperfect wish to be exempt?  The thought makes reason stare.  We are to follow His example in all things, even to Gethsemane and Calvary.  Only when we have passed through heart-wrenching experiences will we ever feel worthy to live with Him again...because even our greatest suffering cannot hold a candle to what He suffered infinitely for all mankind.

This is the bitter that will one day be sweet, Eucharisteo.  Full Eucharisteo and undefiled.

May I never forget, or leave, or forsake.

May I remember, even in my wealth, even in my poverty. May I remember Thee, and all the good Thou hast done.

Will I forget Him?

From my search in the Book of Mormon today, I found hard doctrines and piercing questions stung my heart.

"And thus we can behold how false, and also the unsteadiness of the hearts of the children of men; yea, we can see that the Lord in his great infinite goodness doth bless and proper those who put their trust in him.

"Yea, and we may see at the very time when he doth prosper his people, yea, in the increase of their fields, their flocks and their herds, and in gold, and in silver, and in all manner of precious things of every kind and art; sparing their lives, and delivering them out of the hands of their enemies; softening the hearts of their enemies that they should not declare wars against them; yea, and in fine, doing all things for the welfare and happiness of his people; yea, then is the time that they do harden their hearts, and do forget the Lord their God, and do trample under their feet the Holy One--yea, and this because of their ease, and their exceedingly great prosperity." (Helaman 12:1-2)

These thoughts cause me to examine my heart:  

Will I forget Him?

"Lord, is it I?" (Matthew 26:22) 

And my Savior is asking, "Will ye also go away?" (John 6:67)

And I want to answer with my whole heart and soul, "No, Lord, I will never leave Thee, I will never forget Thee or betray Thee."

But my question is, how?

How do I do this when the natural, carnal man is "quick to be lifted up in pride...quick to boast...slow...to remember the Lord their God, and give ear unto his counsels, yea, how slow to walk in wisdom's paths!" (Helaman 12:5)

And in His goodness, the Lord answers:  "And thus we see that except the Lord doth chasten his people with many afflictions, yea, except he doth visit them with death and with terror, and with famine and with all manner of pestilence, they will not remember him." (Helaman 12:3)

Is this one of the reasons there is death and darkness and affliction and heartbreak and trial and storm everywhere we turn in this fallen world?  To bring us back to Him?  To help us remember Him in the depths of humility?  Perhaps.

Ann says, "All is grace." And it is.  The Lord is over all and cradles each our lives in the palm of His hand, clothing us as the lilies of the field, and when it is eternally hard to see how our trials will bring us happiness, we must simply have faith in the Almighty that one day, our furnaces of affliction will have fired our souls into pure gold...when all the dross and impurities have melted away. (See 1 Peter 1:7)

And to be fit for the Kingdom, we must be fit...exercised through much trial.  Else, how will we feel worthy to be in the Savior's presence, eternally living in His kingdom, if we have never experienced the bitter?  He, who was perfect, descended below all things, and we who are ever so imperfect wish to be exempt?  The thought makes reason stare.  We are to follow His example in all things, even to Gethsemane and Calvary.  Only when we have passed through heart-wrenching experiences will we ever feel worthy to live with Him again...because even our greatest suffering cannot hold a candle to what He suffered infinitely for all mankind.

This is the bitter that will one day be sweet, Eucharisteo.  Full Eucharisteo and undefiled.

May I never forget, or leave, or forsake.

May I remember, even in my wealth, even in my poverty. May I remember Thee, and all the good Thou hast done.

Beginnings

I am nearly halfway into "one thousand gifts" now.

Already I feel so alive and awake and changed.

I smile all giddy inside to think of the changes the rest of the words will bring.

And from Ann I see myself though situations differ.

We all face humanity's rush for more time and more understanding and just for plain more.

We all feel a lack of something, but what?

She presented Eucharisteo and I accepted, and for days breathed the word in hushed tones and aloud to reinforce the word, the meaning into my life.

But yesterday, a new layer was added, a practice, an action to apply much like one does when in Photoshop. To a picture, an action layered gives new color, new vibrancy, new life to the photograph, imbuing it with a brand-new personality.

The action was nothing more and nothing less than a chronicling of gifts from God.

And so we had a Family Home Evening lesson all about counting our blessings and used President Uchtdorf's First Presidency message from this month's Ensign.  And I gave sons and husband each a box to open, with a brand new notebook journal with fresh clean pages.  We helped our little ones draw and write two things for which they were grateful.  And though my Little Bear's entry consisted of fat and skinny sausages, the lesson stayed I think, imprinted on hearts.  This morning Little Bear, during the breakfast prayer, thanked Heavenly Father that we can count our blessings and draw in our thankful books.

And this morning I began by lamplight in the still of the peaceful sunrise...recording in my book with my pen dedicated to this purpose...to fill in gifts and more and more until it was time to get ready for the day.  But my hands carried the notebook wherever I went and my mind did not leave the gifts alone.  Fresh ones have been scratched on the page....more and more and more.

I have #71 completed now with #72 written, waiting to be filled.

I write as they happen, and here are just a few:

#12. Kissing scrunched up noses.

#15. Glowing lamplight on two-year-old toes.

#16. Long black lashes lacing beautiful blue eyes.

#18. Butterflies inside me reminding me of coming camera.

#19. Whoosh of heater happily turning on again.

#20. Swirl of golden ash hair all tousled from sleep.

#21. New black jet stream pen to be used only for this counting of holiness.

#38. Glass tinkle in dishwasher--music like chimes.

#40. Folder Games strewn out on rug.

#57. One more gift. There is always one more.

Ann says that "Naming is Edenic." And this thought strikes me because it is.  We are naming gifts like Adam named the animals and Father named His creations.  To name something shows us the God-given value of person, place or thing.  When we name, we are partners in creation.

And so I will continue to live this way.

Because I was promised in my patriarchal blessing that 

I would depart from this life "after living a full life."

Now this book and this answer to a blessing, and now I have learned (and am still learning) that living a full life is living a thankful life and noticing God in the present. In the details. 

In every moment of every day.

Because He is here.  He is I AM, waiting to be found.

And when we count the gifts He gives us as the moments pass, we will find that to magnify means to multiply, just as happened with the loaves and fishes...the Savior gave thanks, and the miracle happened.

The cleansed leper gave thanks and he was made whole (and the Hebrew word for whole is sozo...which means to be saved.)

Thanksgiving saves us and makes us whole and happy.

There is always enough when we give thanks for what we have.

So, will you take the dare?

Will you "dare to live fully right where you are"?

Will you begin your One Thousand Gift List today?

Beginnings

I am nearly halfway into "one thousand gifts" now.

Already I feel so alive and awake and changed.

I smile all giddy inside to think of the changes the rest of the words will bring.

And from Ann I see myself though situations differ.

We all face humanity's rush for more time and more understanding and just for plain more.

We all feel a lack of something, but what?

She presented Eucharisteo and I accepted, and for days breathed the word in hushed tones and aloud to reinforce the word, the meaning into my life.

But yesterday, a new layer was added, a practice, an action to apply much like one does when in Photoshop. To a picture, an action layered gives new color, new vibrancy, new life to the photograph, imbuing it with a brand-new personality.

The action was nothing more and nothing less than a chronicling of gifts from God.

And so we had a Family Home Evening lesson all about counting our blessings and used President Uchtdorf's First Presidency message from this month's Ensign.  And I gave sons and husband each a box to open, with a brand new notebook journal with fresh clean pages.  We helped our little ones draw and write two things for which they were grateful.  And though my Little Bear's entry consisted of fat and skinny sausages, the lesson stayed I think, imprinted on hearts.  This morning Little Bear, during the breakfast prayer, thanked Heavenly Father that we can count our blessings and draw in our thankful books.

And this morning I began by lamplight in the still of the peaceful sunrise...recording in my book with my pen dedicated to this purpose...to fill in gifts and more and more until it was time to get ready for the day.  But my hands carried the notebook wherever I went and my mind did not leave the gifts alone.  Fresh ones have been scratched on the page....more and more and more.

I have #71 completed now with #72 written, waiting to be filled.

I write as they happen, and here are just a few:

#12. Kissing scrunched up noses.

#15. Glowing lamplight on two-year-old toes.

#16. Long black lashes lacing beautiful blue eyes.

#18. Butterflies inside me reminding me of coming camera.

#19. Whoosh of heater happily turning on again.

#20. Swirl of golden ash hair all tousled from sleep.

#21. New black jet stream pen to be used only for this counting of holiness.

#38. Glass tinkle in dishwasher--music like chimes.

#40. Folder Games strewn out on rug.

#57. One more gift. There is always one more.

Ann says that "Naming is Edenic." And this thought strikes me because it is.  We are naming gifts like Adam named the animals and Father named His creations.  To name something shows us the God-given value of person, place or thing.  When we name, we are partners in creation.

And so I will continue to live this way.

Because I was promised in my patriarchal blessing that 

I would depart from this life "after living a full life."

Now this book and this answer to a blessing, and now I have learned (and am still learning) that living a full life is living a thankful life and noticing God in the present. In the details. 

In every moment of every day.

Because He is here.  He is I AM, waiting to be found.

And when we count the gifts He gives us as the moments pass, we will find that to magnify means to multiply, just as happened with the loaves and fishes...the Savior gave thanks, and the miracle happened.

The cleansed leper gave thanks and he was made whole (and the Hebrew word for whole is sozo...which means to be saved.)

Thanksgiving saves us and makes us whole and happy.

There is always enough when we give thanks for what we have.

So, will you take the dare?

Will you "dare to live fully right where you are"?

Will you begin your One Thousand Gift List today?

one thousand gifts

It's here!  My book is finally here, and I am soon to open the first page (though I've read the first chapter online already), and soak in the freshness, the familiarity, and to see myself in the mirror of its pages.

The journey is beginning...